1 00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:48,272 - [Bell Sounding] - [Crowd Cheering] 2 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,205 [Man] "I'm in with Hancox, the trainers." 3 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:21,804 "I'm in with Hancox, the trainers." That's what he said, right? 4 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:26,352 Look, Ray, he got me by the elbow. 5 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,387 See, Ray? 6 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:31,013 Messing about... 7 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:34,423 movir the flesh about on it. 8 00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:40,056 I was just goir in. I had my three and six ready when he come up to me. 9 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:43,624 "I'm in with Hancox, the trainers, and I'll give you two. 10 00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:46,671 Two for the third race. Come on. You'll just make it." 11 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,503 So I pulled out... 12 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:52,601 this inordinately large sum of money... 13 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:56,341 which he immediately grabbed, you see, Ray, and he'd give me two... 14 00:01:56,449 --> 00:02:00,010 Hermosa of Selsdon as number one and Polish Otto. 15 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,486 Hermosa of Selsdon, Ray. 16 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:07,117 "Do it on the tote," he said. "Do it on the forecast." 17 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:11,687 So I went in and I shelled out 10 shillings on Hermosa of Selsdon... 18 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,358 and the other dog, right? 19 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,995 I come back outside again to see how the bettir was goir. 20 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:22,302 Hermosa of Selsdon is 10-1. 21 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:25,775 Ray, I don't know why... 22 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:31,579 this guy instilled faith in me, Ray. 23 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,319 I don't know why. 24 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:40,322 Anyway, the fanfares blew. They brought them out. 25 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:43,452 This fellow I went with said, "There's yours. 26 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:46,031 There's your dog... Hermosa of Selsdon." 27 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:50,466 So I looked at him. I swear to God, Ray, I looked back again... 28 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,731 they lengthened to fourteens. 29 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,637 I thought, "Everyone has gone mad." I said... 30 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,835 "Everyone has gone mad!" 31 00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:01,209 Then you won't believe it. Ray, I'm watching the dog, right... 32 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:04,647 and they're marchir it around and back again. 33 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,379 And just as they're about to put the dog in its trap... 34 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:10,285 he stops dead in his tracks. 35 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:14,451 He tightens up, shivers, lowers his little ass... 36 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:18,122 and has the mother and father of all dumps right there. 37 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:24,033 Dog was 52 pounds as it was. After that lot shot through his glory hole, he was nearer 40. 38 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,571 - Wort make much difference. - Of course it does. 39 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:29,403 Ray, that's how to catch out those eggs in the ring. 40 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:33,912 Ray, they got their backs to the dogs and the dogs' psychology. 41 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,948 Anyway, the bell goes off. 42 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,779 The hare comes shootir out, sets off the trap. 43 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:42,582 - Some bloody egg behind me shouts, "They're off!" - I know. 44 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:47,281 I'll cut it short for you, Ray. 45 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,419 It was the dog Mystic Nora all the way. 46 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,931 Hermosa of Selsdon wasrt even in it. 47 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:57,935 Nowhere! Dead out! I just stared, Ray. 48 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,603 Ray, I just stared. 49 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:07,340 Then you won't believe this, Ray. 50 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:11,747 When they went down to the track to take the dog back... 51 00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:14,217 it didn't wanna go. 52 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,380 It didn't want to go. 53 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,220 That's what really got me, Ray. 54 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,453 It didn't want to go. 55 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:27,431 I wanted to go down there and kick it to death, Ray. 56 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,728 I saw that dog for what it really was... 57 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:34,000 nothing but a dirty little whippet. 58 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,598 Dachshund on stilts, filthy little fart... 59 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:39,974 with a horsehair shirt to stop it from gassir everyone. 60 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,944 Yes. 61 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:44,642 I usually don't bother with the forecast, actually. 62 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,651 Usually double up on the favorites. 63 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,586 Very fair last Thursday, as a matter of fact, Graham. 64 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,123 I used to do the Duella pools sometimes on the off chance... 65 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,251 but they closed 'em down for the forecast betting. 66 00:04:55,361 --> 00:05:00,025 I'm talking about last Saturday at Wandswon'th, Ray. 67 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,869 We're just leavir, right... 68 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,806 when this fellow I went with... 69 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:14,937 says to me, "What you gonna do about it?" 70 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,948 I said, "About what?" 71 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,041 He said, "About the guy who gave you the dog." 72 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,279 Ray, I'd completely forgotten about him. 73 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,251 So we go back up the stands into the bar. 74 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,293 There's the guy give us the dog. 75 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,589 He's sittir there with his back to us. 76 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,326 This fellow I went with, Ray, he's a bloody egg, in fact. You know what he did? 77 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:38,495 He takes a lit cigarette. 78 00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:41,630 He walks up right behind the guy... 79 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:47,043 and he burns a hole right in the back of his jacket, just like that. 80 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:50,411 Then he taps him on the shoulder and says, "Hello." 81 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,151 The guys turns around, right? 82 00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:56,551 He don't recognize us at first, but then he does. 83 00:05:56,656 --> 00:06:01,923 He says, "Oh, hello, boys. Hello, hello. Have a drink." 84 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,361 The fellow I went with, Ray... Jimmy... he says... 85 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,229 "Two double scotches." 86 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,996 And he gets 'em. He gets 'em. 87 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,072 And then this guy I went with... 88 00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:16,835 he grabs him and he says... 89 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,140 "I wonder if you could help me. 90 00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:24,342 "I'm interested in recoupir certain losses made recently... 91 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,918 "in an ill-advised venture. 92 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:30,477 "And I got with me here this tin ofbandages... 93 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,490 "which I'm willir to sell. 94 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,117 "Matter of fact, I'll sell it so cheap... 95 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,890 it would be a pleasure to cut yourself." 96 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:41,558 - Heard that before. Huh. - Anyway... 97 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,294 this half-hard idiot that give us the dog... 98 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,372 he gradually catches on that he's being threatened... 99 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,406 and he shoots off his mouth. 100 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:52,774 We get thrown out. They wouldn't let us back in. 101 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,144 Oh, well, you had a good day. You shouldn't let it worry you. 102 00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,444 Graham, you remember that time I was barred from the queer pub... 103 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:06,048 in Earl's Court for adjustir the vertical hold on the television set? 104 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,128 Yes, Ray. 105 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,423 That was ironical, wasrt it? 106 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:16,230 Barred from a queer pub for adjustir the vertical hold. 107 00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,462 Yes. 108 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,132 Why don't you go unravel in the bath? 109 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:28,236 You're startir to sound like Auntie Daisy, you are, pushir out the dirt. 110 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,838 Bloody dog! 111 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,475 Bloody little animal! 112 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,316 - Oh, forget it. - I have forgotten it. 113 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,481 And you've forgotten about forgettir it as well. 114 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,189 Oh, yes. 115 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:46,823 Yes! Yes. 116 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,694 Yes. 117 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:16,384 - I don't know. - What? 118 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,488 You don't know what? 119 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,726 Got out of bed on the wrong side. 120 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,962 - It must have done. - I did. 121 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,539 Oh, did you? 122 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:35,340 Right, then. Right. 123 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,257 Right. 124 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,663 Sharon should come around. 125 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:01,672 - Bringing any food? - I didn't ask her to. I didn't give her any money. 126 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,174 I never pay for sex, Ray. 127 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:07,542 That's 'causeJesus Christ paid for our sins. 128 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,207 That's got nothing to do with it. 129 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,784 I like her, Ray. 130 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,787 I like her very much. 131 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:24,759 Let's give her a miss. Let's go up the West End. 132 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,303 Right, then. 133 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,036 What's the name of that place you got thrown out of? Let's go there. 134 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:46,141 The Earl of Strathmore... Strathcona. That's in Earl's Court. 135 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,380 Oh! 136 00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,479 Close the bloody window. 137 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,234 "With railers drawn on the outside... 138 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,599 "and wide runners on the inside... 139 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:08,401 "tonight's heats of the Ben Truman Stakes at New Cross... 140 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:11,635 "present a really difficult assignment for punters... 141 00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:14,770 "and I would not be at all surprised... 142 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,007 "to see more than a couple of shocks... 143 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:21,746 before the six for Saturday's finals are known." 144 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:25,255 What they wanna do that for? Balingaddy runs wide. 145 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,451 They should shove her on the outside. 146 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,892 That's a very pacy little hound. 147 00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:33,261 Clocked 28:06 solo last Monday. 148 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:37,462 Remember? Why ain't they written it up? Here. 149 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:42,272 "She is also no stranger to New Cross... 150 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,172 "having won over the course and distance. 151 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:48,804 "And connections were wise to renew her associations with the circuit... 152 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:52,645 by giving her a 500-yard spin on Monday." 153 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,652 She'll be on big offer. 154 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:57,689 She won't be on a big offer at all. What'd you say that for? 155 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:01,692 She got Miss Vanilla and Spring Guest against her. 156 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:06,288 Half an hour's boredom and agony for a few seconds' pleasure. 157 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,891 - Ha. - If Sharon were here, she would say... 158 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,835 "That's like a lot of things, Ray," 159 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:16,396 and leer at you. 160 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,670 I spared you that. 161 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:22,077 How bothered was I about being spared it? 162 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,048 - I don't know. It's all on the cards. - I don't see it. 163 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,245 It don't matter. I'm not goir that far with you. 164 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,368 [Chattering, Indistinct] 165 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:55,072 You got Country. You got... 166 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,172 [Indistinct] 167 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,478 No? You got Taste. 168 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,748 [Man] They're not for perusing, those magazines. 169 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:05,255 "Wedding bells for Mervin Gloyer." 170 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,951 He'll marry the Queen Mother before that bitch. 171 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,085 I've seen him in action once. 172 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,256 - Witchery Snow. - Oh? 173 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,595 That's who. I talked with him. 174 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,568 - Did you? - He asked for you. 175 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:22,334 - Speak about me, did he? - I said they're not for perusing, those. 176 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,409 Is there a voice in back of me? 177 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:30,176 How's your wife and my three babies? Gettir fat? 178 00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,750 Fame is the first disgrace. 179 00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:39,852 Why? Man wants to know why fame is the first disgrace, Ray. 180 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,261 Why, everyone knows that. 181 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:52,132 Because God knows who you are. 182 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,507 God knows who you are. 183 00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,841 [People On Film, Indistinct] 184 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:40,143 I remember comir out of the pictures once with a fellow. 185 00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:42,777 And we walked the whole way... 186 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,083 to Holborn Viaduct. 187 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,751 He didn't say a word. 188 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,660 Finally, he turns to me and says... 189 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:55,632 "Those Italians really know what life's about." 190 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,793 I could've kicked him in the crotch. 191 00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,804 The last time I went to the pictures with you... 192 00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,033 you said you went with some American. 193 00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,600 And after you came out, he said... 194 00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:10,580 "Some very poignant songs have come from the mines." 195 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,583 I could've cut his balls off too. 196 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,710 I remembered you sayir that. 197 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:19,223 Came from Pittsburgh, huh? I remember that. 198 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,888 - There aren't any bloody mines in Pittsburgh. - No, not in Pittsburgh, Ray. 199 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:29,058 No, no. But as far as I remember, Ray... 200 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:34,401 Pittsburgh is the center of the mining district in Pennsylvania. 201 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,532 I forced that out of him. Let's go have a drink. 202 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:41,374 - My nerves are bloody wound up. - I could drink you under a table. 203 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,246 - Have to be a small table. - You're gettir very kittenish. 204 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,512 - Huh? - Huh? 205 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:56,053 Let's go have a drink, Ray. 206 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:59,255 Where's the nearest pub you got thrown out of? Let's go there. 207 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:02,129 We passed it. 208 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:06,432 - Which one was that? - Strathmore Arms. 209 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:10,872 The barman came up to me and said, "You'll have to go. 210 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,410 I'm sorry. You'll have to go." 211 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:17,209 - Why? - "You're always reading. 212 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,716 You bore the customers." 213 00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:22,787 "You're always reading. You bore the customers." 214 00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,254 - Huh. - Let's go there. 215 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:44,275 Hello, there. How's it goir? All right? 216 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:48,335 - Hello. - Who was that? Are you playing your game? 217 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,474 [Graham] That turned him over. 218 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:55,451 Let him cook on the other side. 219 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,715 Didrt look that sort to me. 220 00:15:57,823 --> 00:16:01,589 For a start, he was cut to pieces and reeling about the street. 221 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,891 You could've pissed in his face and watched it evaporate. 222 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,194 Right. You don't believe me then, Ray? 223 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,167 Turn around. We'll catch him up. 224 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,465 Come on. 225 00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,206 - Hello, there. - Huh? 226 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,511 Hey. How's it goir? 227 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,448 - You're notJoseph at all. - There you go. 228 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:31,785 I seen you, haven't I? Catford Dog Track. 229 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:36,486 Why, you're notJoseph at all. Get out of me fucking way.! 230 00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:39,689 Huh? Don't you touch me! 231 00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:41,698 I have every right to walk up and down here... 232 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:46,294 without you bloody fucking drug addicts comir up to me! 233 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:57,145 You know what Winston Churchill said about dogs? 234 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:03,783 He said they were animated roulette. 235 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:08,189 He had all the wit in the world. 236 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,887 That'll keep you thinkir for a bit. 237 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:14,932 And what'd you come up to me for? 238 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,764 Why don't you just walk about the streets... 239 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,361 with rays coming out of your eyes... 240 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:23,464 lies coming out of the tips of your fingers. 241 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:27,534 That's what you're at. You damn well go away. 242 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:30,513 What a naughty little man, Ray. He's tryir to break the rules. 243 00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:34,245 Huh? You might have been a fellow give me a tip last week. 244 00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:38,289 - Excuse me? - I might wanna thank you for it, or kick you to death. 245 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:42,053 - Hermosa of Selsdon at 20-1. - What are you talking about, Graham? 246 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,925 Hermosa of Selsdon at 20-1. 247 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,897 Well, I want no thanks from you.! 248 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,594 And when I wanna thank you for something, I shart! 249 00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:53,262 Damn well go away. 250 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,772 Bloody split-arse. Ruining the bloody streets. 251 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,774 - Get out! - Hermosa of Selsdon at 20-1. 252 00:17:57,876 --> 00:18:01,903 - Get out! - Get out! 253 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:05,108 [Whooping] 254 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,285 [Whooping Continues] 255 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:15,751 Hermosa of Selsdon at 20-1! 256 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:20,127 Whee! 257 00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:24,100 Hermosa of Selsdon... 258 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,569 at 20-1! 259 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,607 [Whooping] 260 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:40,276 If you say "You see what I mean?" I think I'll go quietly mad. 261 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:44,287 Look, next time, you go along with me. 262 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,584 You bloody go along with me, Ray. 263 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:52,623 - The dog didn't win. - Oh, God, Ray, I give up. 264 00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:58,192 Go along with me! You bloody go along with me! 265 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,705 He was shakir all over. 266 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,647 It's all very well, your sayir you're gonna go quietly mad... 267 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:15,311 if I say, "You see what I mean." 268 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,287 Poor, old bastard. For all you know, his wife might've just died. 269 00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,551 - He might've been laid off or somethir. - Oh, God, Ray. 270 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,627 "Laid off." 271 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,753 You see what I mean? 272 00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:28,662 I'll fuckir well say it now. 273 00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,240 What? 274 00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:41,237 [Chattering] 275 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:53,424 How much thought did you give it? 276 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,493 What? 277 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:02,296 - Hermosa of Selsdon. - Oh. 278 00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:04,301 I didn't pay much attention to it. 279 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:06,633 I had Fairlands Mandy and Matson Wonder. 280 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,502 Fairlands Mandy can catch pigeons. 281 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,008 That wasrt very adventurous of you, was it? 282 00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:15,409 One of the selections said Hermosa of Selsdon... 283 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,709 would be a back marker most of the way. 284 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:21,843 - That's a bloody lie. - It was in Thursday's Greyhound. 285 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,514 It was? 286 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,591 I've got the cutting here. 287 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,830 Here. 288 00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,001 You find it, Ray. 289 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:41,939 Go ahead. You bloody find it then. 290 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,873 - What's that? - It's the Weekender. 291 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,746 "How would you spend your last hour? 292 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,824 "Weekender asked 16 famous people what they would do... 293 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:04,555 "given the choice as the seconds ticked away. 294 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,858 Sixty minutes to live." 295 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,035 - What would you do? - I'd read the bloody thing. 296 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:15,903 If I said I was gonna read it, I'd read the bloody thing. 297 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,476 "One hour to live. Sixty minutes... 298 00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:21,410 "left on the Earth to wind up the account. 299 00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:25,415 "Many men have faced up to it. Some bravely, some with a whimper. 300 00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:30,147 "It is about the most profound subject a human being can think about. 301 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:34,692 "But it is only when people stop talking about those vital 60 minutes... 302 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,422 "that the infinite variety of views emerges. 303 00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:42,022 "Would you pray? Would you cry? 304 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,193 Would you leave with a smile?" 305 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:48,330 - What's it say about the dog? - I think it's interesting. 306 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,773 "The future prospects of personal pets... 307 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:54,675 "will be the first concern of writer Beverly Nichols. 308 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:57,442 "'I would ask Gaskin, my manservant... 309 00:21:57,549 --> 00:21:59,574 "'to take care of my three cats... 310 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:03,246 Anthony Trollope and Five."' 311 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:06,051 That's only two, Graham. That's only two cats. 312 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,751 That's the price you have to pay, isn't it? 313 00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:16,427 It's three, you silly cunt. 314 00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:20,403 Anthony, Trollope and Five. 315 00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,473 Three. 316 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:28,709 "'I would then give Gaskin the time off... 317 00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:30,714 "'and I would play some records... 318 00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:35,753 Rachmaninov's 18th Variation on a theme by..."' 319 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,754 You've read it then? 320 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,756 - I've read it, sure. - What are you going on about? 321 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:42,053 - Why can't I read it? - I don't care. Bloody read it. 322 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,028 - All right. - I couldn't give a bugger what you do. 323 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:55,606 As a matter of fact, there are a lot of people you follow in here. 324 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:59,734 Anna Massey, David Frost... 325 00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:03,608 the Duke of Bedford... 326 00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,741 Lesley-Anne Down. 327 00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:10,151 "What would be the last fling of socialite Mrs. Bunty Kinsman? 328 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:13,156 "A parachute jump over the Sussex Downs... 329 00:23:13,258 --> 00:23:16,284 to buy two gorgeous dresses from Balenciaga." 330 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,193 I'm just picking out the funny ones, Graham, for a laugh. 331 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:22,858 Right. 332 00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,526 Didrt you say you met her? 333 00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:30,464 Let's go, Ray. 334 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:35,035 Let's go down the road. Come on. 335 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:39,083 I didn't read you out the best one, Graham. 336 00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:46,620 "Barbara Can'tland, the famous novelist, she said..." 337 00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:49,785 Look, you can go back home to that old cow of yours if you like, you know. 338 00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,090 You don't have to come along with me. 339 00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:54,097 What with her mange and your socks... 340 00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,099 you'll have to open the fuckir window! 341 00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:58,567 And the next time, you go along with me. 342 00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:02,106 You can go home if you like. If she's not there, go have a row with yourself in the toilet. 343 00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:04,903 Go unravel in the bath. I don't care. 344 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,570 I tell you, I don't care. 345 00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:12,949 I don't care. 346 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,980 I don't. 347 00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,193 No, I just thought... 348 00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:32,199 I mean, I like going out with you, Graham. 349 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,864 Yes. 350 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,669 Yes, Ray. 351 00:24:37,776 --> 00:24:40,336 You. It's all right with you, Graham. 352 00:24:40,445 --> 00:24:42,504 You're right, Ray. 353 00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:46,482 You're quite right. Oh, yes. 354 00:24:56,928 --> 00:24:59,453 Listen to this prick. 355 00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:04,365 "Hermosa of Selsdon... 356 00:25:04,469 --> 00:25:07,961 "has more than an average turn of early foot... 357 00:25:08,073 --> 00:25:10,234 "and from a favorable draw... 358 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,834 "may well reach the first bend in front. 359 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,311 "Should sweep away into the lead... 360 00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:19,542 "and career away for what could well be... 361 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,518 "the most decisive winning margin of the evening. 362 00:25:22,621 --> 00:25:26,318 "Great Gusto should outstay all but the selection... 363 00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:28,824 Hermosa of Selsdon. " 364 00:25:28,927 --> 00:25:33,796 Now, they got the nerve to bring that dog up again. 365 00:25:33,899 --> 00:25:36,527 We've seen that bloody hound. 366 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:38,899 Seen that bloody hound. 367 00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:41,131 "Favored by having trap three vacant." 368 00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:44,208 Wouldrt make a difference if they're all bloody vacant. 369 00:25:44,309 --> 00:25:46,436 We've seen that bastard dog. 370 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,479 Isn't that him? That one? 371 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:50,741 Who? 372 00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:53,841 Wouldrt make a difference if they're all fucking vacant. Who? What's the time? 373 00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:56,443 One of those people you follow. 374 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,547 There. No... See there? No, there, there. 375 00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:03,526 There. There he is. 376 00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:06,358 You see there? There. 377 00:26:06,464 --> 00:26:10,867 Yes, yes, yes. 378 00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:14,928 No. It's not him. 379 00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:19,539 It's another one. 380 00:26:19,644 --> 00:26:21,669 I know who you mean. 381 00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:26,574 I know who he is. 382 00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:29,483 Let's go chat him up. 383 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:33,319 Yes, Ray. Whatever for, Ray? 384 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,154 Well, you know. Next time you see him... 385 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,160 you can say to yourself, you know... 386 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,890 that you and me, we chatted him up and how it went or something. 387 00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:42,967 I don't know why you follow these people. 388 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:45,036 They follow me. 389 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:51,402 Coming along with me, are you? 390 00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:56,311 - Hmm? - Well, yes. Yes. 391 00:26:56,414 --> 00:26:58,314 Yes, Graham. 392 00:26:58,416 --> 00:27:00,509 You're beir a bit kittenish. 393 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,187 Hmm? 394 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,258 Graham. 395 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,191 Excuse me. 396 00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:47,696 I would just like to say... 397 00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:50,359 that I admired greatly... 398 00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:52,834 the way you extricated yourself... 399 00:27:52,937 --> 00:27:57,931 from that dirty little bitch on the train to Santa Fe. 400 00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:05,045 Oh, yes. Yes. You-You-You saw that, did you? 401 00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,948 Y-Yes, yes. 402 00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:10,886 Yeah, my friend and I, we happened to spot you over here in the corner... 403 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:14,288 and we just thought, you know, we would just come over... 404 00:28:14,392 --> 00:28:16,917 to let you know we were on your side. 405 00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:20,088 Oh, yes. Well, uh, thank you. 406 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,223 You know, they're releasing that again... 407 00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,528 - Oh! - As a matter of fact. 408 00:28:24,636 --> 00:28:27,867 I was very pleased about that. I suppose you'd be... 409 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:29,997 Oh, no. We'll be there. Oh, no. 410 00:28:30,108 --> 00:28:32,008 Oh, definitely, we'll be there. 411 00:28:32,110 --> 00:28:34,010 Oh. 412 00:28:34,112 --> 00:28:37,673 Yes, I thought it was fairly well buried... that one. 413 00:28:37,782 --> 00:28:39,977 - I must say, it is nice that you should... - Oh, no. 414 00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:42,110 We're great admirers of yours, David. 415 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:45,712 Great admirers. You know, when we first saw you... 416 00:28:45,824 --> 00:28:49,055 oh, you had a part in Oklahoma... 417 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,424 at Hastings five years ago. 418 00:28:51,529 --> 00:28:54,794 Right? There are not many people come up to you and tell you that, huh, David? 419 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:58,198 No. Oh, yes, yes, I remember. 420 00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:00,863 I remember that well. The local newspaper said... 421 00:29:00,972 --> 00:29:05,636 it was a once-in-a-lifetime clinch with gaiety. 422 00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:09,536 That's a giggle, huh, Ray? 423 00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:19,381 Can I get you a drink? 424 00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:22,858 Yes. Well, yes. Campari. Thank you. 425 00:29:22,961 --> 00:29:25,452 I'll get It, Ray. 'Cause I don't want to rush you off your feet. 426 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:31,266 Campari. That's port and lemon in disguise. 427 00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:34,738 You're sewn up, aren't you? 428 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,342 Can I have a Campari? 429 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:48,082 Glass of scotch and a glass of tonic with a slice oflemon. 430 00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:51,053 Dave? You heard the oldjoke. 431 00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:08,999 Hey, she been... she been taken up, huh? 432 00:30:09,107 --> 00:30:11,632 That dirty little bitch on the train to Santa Fe? 433 00:30:11,743 --> 00:30:15,338 Oh-Oh, yes. Oh, ye-yes. Yes. She's been... Yes, thank you. 434 00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:18,540 She's been, um... 435 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,050 - Yes, she's been taken up in a big way. - Yeah? 436 00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:23,120 Oh, yes. Yes. 437 00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:27,391 Cheers. Thank you. 438 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:44,039 This recent one you been working on, David... 439 00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:46,838 - This recent one... - Mm-hmm? 440 00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:49,379 What's the director like to work with? 441 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,042 - Oh, you-you've been reading about that one, have you? - Yes. 442 00:30:54,152 --> 00:30:57,144 Well, it is very difficult work... 443 00:30:57,255 --> 00:30:59,485 to begin with, but I've found... 444 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:03,083 that the only way to avoid a direct clash... 445 00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:07,961 personalities... was to, um... 446 00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:10,591 well, almost... 447 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:13,296 the exact opposite to what he wanted. 448 00:31:13,404 --> 00:31:15,497 I mean, not quite the exact opposite, you see. 449 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:18,667 Do you see what I mean? But almost the exact opposite. 450 00:31:18,776 --> 00:31:21,711 And then, you see, he-he knew... 451 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:24,304 that you werert kowtowing to him like everybody else... 452 00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:26,508 and at the same time, you werert sort of... 453 00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:29,849 you know, playing the game of doing... 454 00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:31,854 the exact opposite... 455 00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:34,754 in order to show that you were obviously, as it were, standing... - 456 00:31:34,859 --> 00:31:36,759 uh, standing up to him. 457 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,265 - You see, it's very... - Brilliant, David. 458 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:44,494 That is absolutely brilliant. 459 00:31:44,602 --> 00:31:46,502 - Ohh... - Ray? Huh? 460 00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:49,368 Yes. Very, very clever. 461 00:31:56,347 --> 00:31:59,714 It's funny you should talk about that film, because you know what? 462 00:31:59,817 --> 00:32:02,945 Ray and I were talking about that very film just before. 463 00:32:03,054 --> 00:32:04,988 - Yeah? - And he bet me... 464 00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,489 you really lived it up there, David. 465 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:12,123 Oh, yes, yes. Well, yes, yes, yes. 466 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:14,790 Yes. 467 00:32:14,899 --> 00:32:16,799 Well, no, no, no. 468 00:32:16,901 --> 00:32:18,960 No, no. It's not, um... 469 00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:21,800 - It's not what you'd imagine at all, really. - Oh, no, no, no. 470 00:32:21,906 --> 00:32:25,933 We've got no illusions about it, David. No illusions at all. 471 00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:30,140 No, I can imagine what... just what it's like, you know. 472 00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:35,584 I saw you rehearsing the other day. Hammersmith. Some hall there. 473 00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:40,124 - Oh, really? - I often pass that place on my way to the dogs. 474 00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:44,422 - You know, do you go to... Do you go to the dogs at all? - No. 475 00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:47,123 No, I don't. L-l-I, uh... 476 00:32:47,231 --> 00:32:50,257 Well, l-I never have the time. 477 00:32:50,368 --> 00:32:53,701 I'd lose, I suppose. 478 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,874 Somebody was saying something about greyhound racing... 479 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,240 the other day. 480 00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:02,313 Some remark. 481 00:33:03,614 --> 00:33:07,050 No, no. No, no. I was... I was reading it. 482 00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,142 "Animated roulette." 483 00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:13,349 Winston Churchill. 484 00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,359 Animated roulette. 485 00:33:16,461 --> 00:33:20,022 No, I don't... I don't follow it, really. 486 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:25,135 Graham follows it. 487 00:33:25,236 --> 00:33:28,103 Yes. 488 00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:30,674 Yes, well, I'll, um... 489 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:32,868 I'll be with you in a minute. 490 00:33:32,977 --> 00:33:35,537 [Groans] Just going downstairs to, uh... 491 00:33:35,646 --> 00:33:37,546 to shake the icicles off. 492 00:33:37,648 --> 00:33:40,082 - Huh? [Chuckles] - Oh. 493 00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:49,556 Gone downstairs, Graham. See a man about a dog. 494 00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:51,560 Huh. 495 00:33:53,631 --> 00:33:56,725 Coming along with me, are you? 496 00:33:56,834 --> 00:33:59,632 You gonna hedge your bets? 497 00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:04,441 No. No. 498 00:34:07,311 --> 00:34:10,075 It's like you say, Graham. It's just like you say. 499 00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:12,240 The old black magic. 500 00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:15,911 [Footsteps Approaching] 501 00:34:16,020 --> 00:34:19,251 Who's the third man who walks beside you? 502 00:34:19,357 --> 00:34:21,222 Hello. 503 00:34:21,325 --> 00:34:23,293 What? 504 00:34:24,762 --> 00:34:27,287 Knock 'em back, don't you, David? 505 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:30,424 I bet your liver goes on living long after you're dead. 506 00:34:30,535 --> 00:34:34,027 Right? You'll have to hire a couple of guys like us to beat it to death. 507 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:40,442 What about coming down the road with us? 508 00:34:40,545 --> 00:34:42,479 Place we know. 509 00:34:45,183 --> 00:34:47,174 Oh, no, no, no. I have to get back. I really... 510 00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:50,880 I really must get back. I'm very, very, um... 511 00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:52,888 very, very tired. 512 00:34:52,990 --> 00:34:56,391 - Oh, well, we'll walk along with you. - Oh. Very well. 513 00:34:58,362 --> 00:35:01,160 You know, David, you haven't let us introduce ourselves. 514 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,165 My name is Graham, David... 515 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:05,326 and this is my very good friend here, Ray Summers. 516 00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:07,336 - How do you do? - Hello. 517 00:35:07,438 --> 00:35:10,100 Do you mind at all being recognized by strangers? 518 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:14,110 Oh, no, no, no. It's just part of the old, uh... 519 00:35:14,212 --> 00:35:18,410 Well, they, uh... They usually get my name wrong... 520 00:35:18,516 --> 00:35:21,349 and then they get embarrassed and walk away. 521 00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:24,512 No, it doesn't... It doesn't, um... doesn't take much out of you. 522 00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:26,817 You know, I expect a lot of'em must come up to you... 523 00:35:26,924 --> 00:35:29,859 ask you for your autograph, then say it's for their small son... 524 00:35:29,961 --> 00:35:32,794 their niece, someone you've never heard of just to cover up, huh? 525 00:35:32,897 --> 00:35:34,797 - Yes. - Can I have your autograph? 526 00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:38,096 - It's funny you should... - It's for Ray. 527 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:42,004 [Chuckling] 528 00:35:42,106 --> 00:35:44,836 You've got one of those pens that writes underwater. 529 00:35:44,942 --> 00:35:47,877 What? 530 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,072 I never knew that. 531 00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:54,208 Oh, well. Came in handy to play the Duke of, um... the Duke of Clarence with. 532 00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:59,221 Oh, they wouldn't let you. He was Jewish. 533 00:35:59,323 --> 00:36:04,124 You know there were 50,000 SephardicJews in London in 1066? 534 00:36:04,228 --> 00:36:07,527 They all got to the top, then nobody knew who they were. 535 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:11,432 There were 20,000 Negroes in England in the early 1800s. 536 00:36:11,536 --> 00:36:14,903 - Nobody knows where they are. Ray's Jewish. - Oh, yeah? 537 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:18,533 He had to have it cut off. I bloody wore it off. 538 00:36:18,643 --> 00:36:20,873 - [Chuckling] - Stop laughing. 539 00:36:20,978 --> 00:36:23,503 You sound like a clam goir mad. 540 00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:28,878 Yes, well, um... 541 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:34,988 Yes, well, perhaps, um... 542 00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:37,253 Perhaps I shall run across you again. 543 00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:40,057 Run across us again? David. 544 00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:43,793 You'd have to run very fast. Very fast, indeed. 545 00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:46,768 Don't you live in Knightsbridge now? 546 00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:49,863 I was readiryour house in Chiswick is up for sale. 547 00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:51,908 - Property column. - Oh, were you? 548 00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:54,341 You're very funny to me, David. 549 00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:57,005 What do you mean, I don't live up to the old, uh... 550 00:36:57,114 --> 00:36:59,082 No, no, no, no! 551 00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:01,083 You got it all wrong! 552 00:37:01,185 --> 00:37:03,278 And even if that were the case, we'd forgive you. 553 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:06,015 Wouldrt we, Ray? 554 00:37:06,123 --> 00:37:09,058 Huh? You're very, very tired. 555 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,391 But you sell yourself so cheap. Don't defend yourself. 556 00:37:12,496 --> 00:37:15,397 You've got to put yourself out a bit. 557 00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:17,626 They'll defend you as much as they can, David... 558 00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:20,295 but when it comes to crucial issues, you're out on your own. 559 00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,066 You haven't done half of it. 560 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:26,075 Well, let's leave that for a bit. Right? 561 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:28,407 Turn to the more rational side. 562 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:37,051 How would you assess his physical condition and stature... 563 00:37:37,154 --> 00:37:40,521 in a few words, Ray, for guidance? 564 00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:43,890 Well, I'd say about six feet... 565 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:47,624 thirteen stone, well covered. 566 00:37:47,732 --> 00:37:50,599 Fairly good working order, I should think. 567 00:37:50,701 --> 00:37:52,931 Said you were very approachable, David? 568 00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:55,562 Kick him in the stomach, get him on the ground... 569 00:37:55,673 --> 00:37:58,733 put your handkerchief in his mouth, kick him again, we see what follows. 570 00:37:58,843 --> 00:38:00,777 [Grunting] 571 00:38:18,429 --> 00:38:20,329 All right, David. Now. 572 00:38:20,431 --> 00:38:22,626 Okay. 573 00:38:22,733 --> 00:38:25,497 Let's put it another way for you. 574 00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:28,595 It's the simplest thing in the world once you grasp it. 575 00:38:28,706 --> 00:38:30,901 Now, you take Ray, for example. 576 00:38:31,008 --> 00:38:34,205 This girl he's shacked up with... Sharon... 577 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,212 she thinks he's you. 578 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,839 And when they're in their bed, David, he thinks he's you... 579 00:38:38,949 --> 00:38:41,645 and she thinks she's being done by you. 580 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:44,619 Well, it's not quite as simple as all that. Kick him again. Go ahead. 581 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:55,223 It's got nothing to do with resenting you. Nothing at all. 582 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,767 It's just that it seems stupid... 583 00:38:57,868 --> 00:39:01,133 you're not there with Sharon and Ray to defend yourself. 584 00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:05,473 I think he's ready now, Ray. Have his face done. 585 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,408 [Muffled Groaning] 586 00:39:16,053 --> 00:39:20,319 What's that on the left-hand side of his face, Ray? 587 00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:23,484 - What's that? A birthmark? - No, I just did that. 588 00:39:23,594 --> 00:39:26,062 Wasrt I gonna tell you a story? 589 00:39:26,163 --> 00:39:28,996 Listen. Listen. 590 00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,898 This man and wife go into a pub... 591 00:39:32,002 --> 00:39:35,438 and the man says to the barman, "I'll have a Guinness," 592 00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:38,099 and the barman says with a wink... 593 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,575 "That'll put lead in your pencil." 594 00:39:40,678 --> 00:39:42,805 "I can't write," the man says... 595 00:39:42,913 --> 00:39:45,108 saving his wink for another time. 596 00:39:48,152 --> 00:39:50,211 As a matter of fact, I've swindled you, David. 597 00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:53,779 I usually like to tell that story at the beginning to ingratiate myself... 598 00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:56,257 but I thought I'd keep it till the end with you... 599 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,419 out of pure selfishness. 600 00:39:58,529 --> 00:40:00,429 I like to give my stories a good airing. 601 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:03,989 This one's off the record, mind you, but... 602 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:07,400 what keeps an old Englishman happy? 603 00:40:07,505 --> 00:40:09,598 Tell him a joke when he's young. 604 00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:14,778 See what he's got in the bottom drawer, Ray. 605 00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,238 We don't want him to be typecast. 606 00:40:18,349 --> 00:40:20,977 [Muffled Groaning] 607 00:40:27,124 --> 00:40:29,991 I'm surprised at myself, David. 608 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:34,087 Giving you this publicity. 609 00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,098 Touch you. 610 00:40:38,202 --> 00:40:41,968 I wouldn't touch you with a sanitary towel. 611 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,506 Where was it, Ray? 612 00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:49,909 Monmouth Street. 613 00:40:50,014 --> 00:40:53,609 That's it. Monmouth Street. 614 00:40:53,717 --> 00:40:56,652 You had a beautiful woman with you then, David. 615 00:40:56,754 --> 00:40:59,587 Beautiful buttocks she had. Mmm! 616 00:40:59,690 --> 00:41:01,590 I think it was your wife, Ella. 617 00:41:01,692 --> 00:41:03,717 She was slightly pregnant at the time. 618 00:41:03,828 --> 00:41:06,092 Nineteen thousand men were having blood tests. 619 00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:10,759 Beautiful buttocks she had. I watched one, going like a fiddler's elbow. 620 00:41:10,868 --> 00:41:13,063 Then I lost track of it, watched the other. 621 00:41:13,170 --> 00:41:15,798 Backs of her knees... almost edible, David. 622 00:41:15,906 --> 00:41:17,806 I was with a friend of mine from my office. 623 00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:20,502 I watched him come without trimming the candle. 624 00:41:20,611 --> 00:41:23,045 But as we were walking in your direction... 625 00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:26,446 this friend of mine, he recognized you. 626 00:41:26,550 --> 00:41:30,680 But he looked away. See, David? He looked away. 627 00:41:30,788 --> 00:41:33,518 "I'm not gonna give myself away," see? That's what he was thinking. 628 00:41:33,624 --> 00:41:35,717 I'm not gonna give myself away. 629 00:41:35,826 --> 00:41:39,455 Oh, I can ask you now, David, what danger was there of that? 630 00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:41,497 Huh? You wouldn't have remembered him... 631 00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:43,863 even if he'd given himself away, would you? 632 00:41:43,968 --> 00:41:46,994 But what he didn't know... what he didn't realize... 633 00:41:47,104 --> 00:41:49,436 was the reason he wasrt looking at you... 634 00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:53,135 is 'cause you're a dirty leper. 635 00:41:53,244 --> 00:41:55,212 You're a hideous, hideous cripple. 636 00:41:55,312 --> 00:41:59,043 It is extremely rude to stare at hideous cripples. 637 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:01,879 I don't see any blood, Ray. 638 00:42:03,287 --> 00:42:05,255 This. 639 00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:10,517 A little daylight through his cheek. 640 00:42:12,129 --> 00:42:14,029 Wait. 641 00:42:14,131 --> 00:42:16,599 Glamorous, Ray. It's too glamorous. 642 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:18,930 - No, no, no, Graham. - No? 643 00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:22,403 I don't want to leave any false trails. 644 00:42:22,506 --> 00:42:24,974 I don't want to leave it screaming. 645 00:42:25,075 --> 00:42:27,168 Let it sweat. 646 00:42:29,513 --> 00:42:31,413 How do you feel? 647 00:42:31,515 --> 00:42:35,246 I feel quite enthusiastic. 648 00:42:35,352 --> 00:42:37,252 Go ahead, then. 649 00:42:37,354 --> 00:42:40,221 We'll have to make some concessions. 650 00:42:40,324 --> 00:42:42,792 Don't want them to think it was sleeping tablets. 651 00:42:42,893 --> 00:42:46,693 - That little number. - He'll have a new number. 652 00:42:54,972 --> 00:42:56,940 Graham. 653 00:42:58,342 --> 00:43:00,242 Ray. 654 00:43:04,648 --> 00:43:06,616 Graham. 655 00:43:24,401 --> 00:43:27,632 That's all for now, David... 656 00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:32,107 except for a few cheap, ironical statements... 657 00:43:32,209 --> 00:43:34,609 such as, "Thank you... 658 00:43:34,712 --> 00:43:37,374 for having spared us the time," 659 00:43:37,481 --> 00:43:40,609 and "We'll be in touch with you." 660 00:43:40,718 --> 00:43:44,176 I expect you're familiar with those. 661 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:49,183 Ray. 662 00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:19,222 [No Audible Dialogue] 663 00:44:46,984 --> 00:44:49,817 [Clock Chiming] 664 00:45:15,412 --> 00:45:18,540 I met that fellow the other day. 665 00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:20,844 Who? 666 00:45:20,951 --> 00:45:23,442 The... 667 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,681 You know. 668 00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:27,689 You know. 669 00:45:27,791 --> 00:45:29,850 You met him? 670 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,360 I walked past him. He didn't recognize me. 671 00:45:32,463 --> 00:45:34,522 He didn't recognize you? 672 00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:40,298 Well, he's got a nerve. 673 00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:43,430 Not recognizing you, Ray... 674 00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:46,509 that takes the bloody biscuits. 675 00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:52,371 - Was he looking at you? - He looked at me, and then he looked away. 676 00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:54,383 Well, he recognized you, then. 677 00:45:55,619 --> 00:45:57,644 No. No. 678 00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,155 That was a bit of a moody, Ray. 679 00:46:02,659 --> 00:46:07,187 Made the game simple for him so he could understand it... 680 00:46:07,297 --> 00:46:11,563 and he blatantly chooses to ignore the rules. 681 00:46:13,370 --> 00:46:16,737 [Sighs] Well, you know, he might have thought we were jealous. 682 00:46:19,510 --> 00:46:22,206 All that gone to waste. 683 00:46:22,312 --> 00:46:24,280 Huh? 684 00:46:24,381 --> 00:46:26,315 Yeah. 685 00:46:28,185 --> 00:46:30,176 No, I don't think... 686 00:46:32,823 --> 00:46:35,690 No. He's not as stupid as that, Ray. 687 00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:38,819 It was double bluff. 688 00:46:38,929 --> 00:46:41,489 Double bluff. 689 00:46:41,598 --> 00:46:44,897 I don't grudge it him, all said and done. 690 00:46:45,002 --> 00:46:47,436 He's entitled to do what he likes, you know. 691 00:46:47,538 --> 00:46:50,200 He's been out of work for six months. 692 00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:52,707 He's probably on the streets now. 693 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,643 Poncing around like a blue-assed fly... 694 00:46:55,746 --> 00:46:59,238 and flogging... flogging his chops into the bargain. 695 00:46:59,349 --> 00:47:02,284 Poor fellow. 696 00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:05,048 The Salvation Army does a lot for them. 697 00:47:09,326 --> 00:47:11,260 Ray. 698 00:47:14,598 --> 00:47:16,759 Fairlands Mandy. 699 00:47:16,867 --> 00:47:19,631 You chose that, you silly cow. 700 00:47:26,143 --> 00:47:28,668 Fairlands Mandy. 701 00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:36,844 Give him a ring. 702 00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:41,355 It's ex-directory. 703 00:47:43,460 --> 00:47:46,987 Belgravia six... 704 00:47:47,097 --> 00:47:50,191 one five two seven. 705 00:47:52,002 --> 00:47:54,869 Use your Douglas Fairbanks voice. 706 00:48:15,959 --> 00:48:19,190 Hello. Hello. Is David there? 707 00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:22,891 Hello, David. Is that you? 708 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,161 Well, we've been watching your movie. 709 00:48:25,269 --> 00:48:27,169 You know? 710 00:48:28,472 --> 00:48:32,101 Yes. Spellbinding. 711 00:48:34,344 --> 00:48:39,714 I expect you've had your fill, but I wanted to register it with you before I leave tomorrow. 712 00:48:40,984 --> 00:48:43,282 You put on a great, great show. 713 00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:49,221 "Well, can I know who this is?" 714 00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:52,854 That's the game, kid. 715 00:48:52,963 --> 00:48:56,865 That's the game. You put your finger on it. 716 00:48:56,967 --> 00:48:59,401 I just wanted to say what a fine showing. 717 00:48:59,503 --> 00:49:02,939 That's all. Yeah. 718 00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:06,441 No, that's all right. 719 00:49:09,413 --> 00:49:11,881 Yeah. Yeah. 720 00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,844 Bye, now. 721 00:49:24,061 --> 00:49:28,225 Tsk. Isn't he slow? 722 00:49:28,332 --> 00:49:31,096 - Oh, it makes you sick. - Yeah. 723 00:49:32,569 --> 00:49:34,799 You know... 724 00:49:34,905 --> 00:49:36,805 in three years' time... 725 00:49:36,907 --> 00:49:38,807 he's gonna have 10 face-lifts. 726 00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:42,003 Every time he winks, his legs are gonna jump up in the air. 727 00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:45,138 Belt up, Ray. Belt up. Go on. 728 00:49:45,248 --> 00:49:47,512 Belt up. 729 00:49:51,188 --> 00:49:54,180 - Sorry. - That's all right. 730 00:50:01,164 --> 00:50:03,724 What's the selection say? 731 00:50:06,570 --> 00:50:08,902 "Fairlands Mandy. 100-8." 732 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,566 Oh, fat chance. 733 00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:14,235 Their selection, not yours. 734 00:50:19,383 --> 00:50:22,648 - "Polish Otto." - Otto? 735 00:50:24,888 --> 00:50:27,322 - What's it say about him? - "Polish Otto... 736 00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:31,292 "traps well and is well placed for a wide runner. 737 00:50:31,395 --> 00:50:35,161 "If she can lead out from privately trained Fairlands... 738 00:50:35,265 --> 00:50:37,927 "she should outstay the field. 739 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,003 But she tends to get badly balked..." 740 00:50:40,103 --> 00:50:41,934 I'll take that. Otto. 741 00:50:46,276 --> 00:50:48,244 Bring it with you. 742 00:50:49,479 --> 00:50:51,447 Coming? 743 00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:57,019 - Yes. - Well, come on, then, Ray. 744 00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,214 "Privately trained," Ray. 745 00:51:02,192 --> 00:51:04,387 Huh? 746 00:51:04,494 --> 00:51:06,394 Ray. 747 00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:14,195 - [Bell Ringing] - [Crowd Cheering] 748 00:51:17,174 --> 00:51:19,674 Epilogue to follow credits http://www.divx-titlovi.com